you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
honey bunches of taint.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
