its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize