Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
