I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
