Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
