Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
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