cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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