Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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