Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
