Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
This is the high leading the old right now
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
