Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
so let's talk penis.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
