i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
