i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
