We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
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