Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
