Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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