Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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