I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
