you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
