Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
God, I missed his penis.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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