There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
she pinky promised me she was 18
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
