Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
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