The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
