from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
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I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
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And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
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