did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
