Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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