Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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