so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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