weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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