Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
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That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
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There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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