I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
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