return my video game
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
This is the high leading the old right now
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
