Plan B is the new Plan A
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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