I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
