sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
