Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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