Nicole vs. Life
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
