That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
