I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
