i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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