it hurts more in the daytime
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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