Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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