there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
