Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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