You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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