Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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