names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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