I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
And then he peed in my hair
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