Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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