That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
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