yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
