If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
