Swine flu. Run for my life!
okay pat passed out under dana's car
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
