She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
