K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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