She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
