We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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