Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
