I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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