we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize