He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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