so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
