Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
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