First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
whose ass print is on the piano?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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