oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
a search helicopter?!
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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