There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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