can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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