The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
