Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
