did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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