jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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